It’s Thursday evening at about 8:30, the last of the students have been picked up by their rides after finishing up their last game of carpet ball. Fist bumps, side-hugs, along with “Have a great weekend, maybe I’ll see you at Mass, and hopefully I’ll see you next week” are the typical parting shots. The other volunteers and I begin to clean. Handouts and fidgets need to be gathered, snacks need to be put away and the candy jar somehow needs to be refilled again. Typically by that point in the evening, everyone has barely anything left in the tank at the end of the week, but can go on knowing that thankfully tomorrow is Friday.
Just another night in the life of a volunteer in our 7th and 8th Grade Youth Ministry.
You often wonder on the drive home, did I reach them tonight? Did they get the message? Did Billy or Susie grow closer in their relationship with Christ? What are they going home to and what challenges will they face tomorrow? Do I have what it takes? Do these students think that I am a dork?
Is this the call to discipleship that the Lord has been whispering in my ear?
To all of these questions, the answer is most likely, yes.
If there is anything that I have learned in my years of dealing with teens it’s that it is messy and perfectly imperfect. You have to submit to the notion that your journey is not ahead of them fixing all their problems, but instead is beside them. These can be some of the most challenging and rewarding years of being a parent. I’m not going to lie, there are days where I feel like I am in an all-out street brawl with Satan to shield these students and my own children from much of what our society has become, which is okay because as Christians we know how this story ends; there is both truth and comfort in that, but it certainly doesn’t negate the sense of responsibility.
It can also be hard to believe, but yes we were all there once. How did we (and our parents) manage to survive those years both literally and figuratively? The reality is that our youth are the lifeblood of the church. One of the missions of the church is to allow for these students to claim their faith as their own.
In the Catholic Church, we often symbolize this through the Sacrament of Confirmation, typically entered into during those early teenage years. This sacrament is far from the end of the journey, but rather that beginning; how do we get them there when there are so many distractions and temptations to lure them away or take precedence? Again, it is our journey to walk with these students, not to fix them.
We can start by meeting them where they are as individuals. Knowing that our words, body language, and actions are highly impactful; even when we think that they are not watching or listening we must always do the right thing. These teens more now than ever need to know that they matter, that they are known by God, and that they are loved. They need to know that God is always listening and that they are never ever alone. These are years where many students up their faith game. Learning how to really pray, finding their faith, and catching fire with the Spirit. There’s no magic potion or secret recipe to how this comes to fruition; the blueprints are laid out for us in the Word.
As adults, whether it is as a youth group leader, a volunteer, or a parent, we can start by simply allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in this space, meeting teens where they are. While our faith journeys are indeed personal, they are not intended to be private. They need community to grow and flourish no different than vegetation needs sunlight. Bear in mind that the church at its core is not merely a structure where we worship, but rather the church is people. We are the church, a community of the living body and blood of Christ. He has breathed life into us and we are called to pour that out tenfold as soldiers in his army.
People want to know that they are known, that they matter. We all must be active and generous listeners. Students taught me this. They also taught me empathy, humility, patience, and the value of a sense of humor.
We have a powerful and loving God. It is an absolute honor to have the opportunity to be his hands and feet. As his disciple, I have learned that we are all called to not only be disciples, but also to make disciples; we are called to be “fishers of men.”
To God be the glory.
“As he was walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon who is called Peter, and his brother Andrew, casting a net into the sea; they were fishermen. He said to them, “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him. He walked along from there and saw two other brothers, James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John. They were in a boat, with their father Zebedee, mending their nets. He called them, and immediately they left their boat and their father and followed him.” Matthew 4:18-22