A Work In Progress Part 1

“We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10 NLT

Painting is an act of faith.

You start with a blank canvas, show up, and begin making decisions. Most artists work somewhat intuitively, stepping into a flow-like state, losing themselves in the process. It is often in this place that our true self can come forth. When I was a little, this was easy, I would cut and paste for hours, making total messes and getting lost in the process. Hours would go by in minutes. It was like my own world I could enter into. When I got a bit older, I felt pressure enter my art practice at some point. The pressure to perform, to make something great, to make money.

Returning to a child-like faith has been the key to bringing joy back into painting.

For many years, I painted self portraits from life. Eventually, subject matter got in the way of an intuitive feeling that I know now to be the spiritual part of myself. I noticed these marks were coming from another place that was deeper, and much more satisfying. It became a visceral response that comes from the gut-feeling, non-thinking place. The place called intuition. Freedom came when I stopped being so concerned about the outcome of the final piece, and just surrendered to the process. I am still painting self portraits in a sense, but now I would like to say it is an expression of my inner self and relationship with God. The spirit leads, we follow. It felt so true and natural to do it, so I prayed for direction.

I felt so pulled to this work and like I couldn’t get away from it. Most importantly, I feel close to God when creating this work. So I’d say God answered my prayer. Not in flashing lights and a loud audible voice, but in a knowing, a pulling, a calling. This is my first painting of its kind, and I have worked nearly a year on it. Granted I work the two hours I have during naptime, I try to paint every day. I would paint much, much more if time allowed. I imagine I will be painting a lot in eternity. Writing this is cutting into painting time, if I’m being honest. But I feel incredibly privileged to paint at all.

My prayer is that my work be inspired by the spirit of God. Light and life would permeate my canvases. Painting has become a conversation and communion with God’s Spirit through art making. It is simply a way that I connect with God. We are creative beings who are intrinsically connected to a creative God. This is one of a highly discerning and perceptive process. It’s that deep feeling of knowing. Something that cannot be described by logic or reason. It is abstract.

That is what I am aiming to capture.

Surrendering to His presence, where fear falls away.

In these moments some of my best work is created.